Of pi vs. pie, Wyoming news & fat dancers

By Jeff Lampe

Rambling through central Illinois, wishing the IHSA had not sucked the life out of Illinois small-school basketball by increasing to four classes.
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Here’s a decision that will reveal something about you. This Saturday, you can celebrate National Pi Day by sitting down, sharpening a pencil and doing some really fun math problems. Or you can pretend you thought it was National Pie Day (which is actually Jan. 23) and enjoy a built-in excuse to savor sweet, home-made baked treats. So what’ll it be, rhubarb or ’rithmetic? Are you a mathematician, or a man? … Lynn Travis, a Galva reader, correctly noted that recent cartoons have not shown the Democratic party in a favorable light. He mentioned this because I had earlier said our goal is to bash each political party evenly. What I failed to mention in my previous column is that situations sometimes warrant uneven mocking. The ongoing Democratic primary is a good example of such a time. It’s like watching an episode of “The Three Stooges,” only without any laughs. (Yes, it’s like an episode with Shemp and not Curly). That said, our goal is to balance the scale of mocking as much as possible. So Mr. Travis, we promise an anti-Trump cartoon for March 20.
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Lunched last Wednesday in Wyoming at the monthly Chamber of Commerce meeting and learned plenty. The group has some interesting events lined up for this year – including an April 18 Newlyweds Game, a possible Adult Easter Egg Hunt and the July 25 Corn Boil – and you’ll no doubt be hearing more about them soon. One bit of breaking news out of the meeting is that the Chamber has launched a brand-new website: wyoming-chamber.org. Check it out. Another bit of news is that our Farming Matters writer Anna Emm of the Stark County Farm Bureau is taking a new banking job in Streator, closer to her native LaSalle County. Anna’s column next week will be her last. We wish Anna well in her new endeavor.
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Well, it’s official, the World Health Organization has declared the coronavirus a pandemic. No doubt that will trigger even more panic across the land and cause folks to hoard more toilet paper and hand sanitizer. Sigh. … The main repercussion in our house, however, is that the college student in our life will have to stay home from spring break for an extra two weeks and take his Iowa State classes online. Other colleges are following similar plans, which may cause a parental pandemic.
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Years ago, a few of us hoops-crazed parents coached an Elmwood fourth-grade team to the title game at the Illini Bluffs tournament. Our opponent that Sunday was Athens, whose best player was a husky point guard. Our in-depth scouting report (which consisted of watching a few seconds of warm-ups) wrongly indicated the guard would quickly run out of energy. Well, Nic Laird dribbled circles around us that day en route to claiming a coveted, 11-foot-tall IB trophy. He’s done the same thing through every step of a high school career that last week culminated in Laird going for 26 to oust Peoria Christian in the Lewistown Sectional finale. Kudos, Nic. Too bad Athens lost in the supersectional and won’t be playing in Peoria. I always root harder for guys who are not skinny. … Parting shot: Speaking of chubby chaps, my favorite line from a Three Stooges episode came from a stuffy looking woman at a ball. After dancing with Curly, she turned to him and said, “For a fat man, you dance remarkably well.” That’s a compliment I’d love to hear someday.

Contact Jeff Lampe at (309) 231-6040 or jeff@wklypost.com