Rambling through central Illinois, pondering fathers.
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For a long time, Father’s Day was an issue for me. My Dad was 12 hours away and getting him a card and gift required foresight – not my strength when it comes to most things outside of work. Too many times FedEx rushed him cards or Amazon overnighted gifts.
Then there was the envy. Seeing other sons and dads fishing, golfing and grilling made me jealous. No card or gift can replace the simple satisfaction of time together.
Worse yet was the guilt of having left the family, heightened on holidays and as my parents aged.
That’s why last Father’s Day was among my best.
As his health declined, we suggested Dad should move closer to me. My brother had cared for him for years. It was my turn. Thankfully, Dad agreed. Actually, the older he got, the easier he got. He shed many petty angers, or forgot them. He seemed at ease, even though his world was shrinking in around him.
One we settled into living two minutes apart, a wonderful thing happened. We bridged gaps that for decades had kept us distant. As a son who left home at 21 and only returned for too-brief visits, the past year confirmed something I had long tried to ignore: Living near family is a blessing.
So was last Father’s Day. All of us, my sons, my wife, Dad and I held what we jokingly referred to as our Last Supper at Red Lobster, a family favorite we knew was headed for closure. There were no great revelations. Just decent seafood, some laughs and time together. Cards and gifts, we handed to Dad. No FedEx needed.
While that was a memorable evening, not every day went so smoothly. With Dad always eager for company, his new proximity sometimes felt smothering. And unlike him, I didn’t always view the litany of doctor visits as welcome outings.
But the blessing of the past 17 months was made painfully clear last week when Dad died suddenly. Instead of feeling guilt about not having seen him enough, I miss him more than ever. That’s a huge difference but a bittersweet blessing.
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Ratcoons are hard at it as we enter the peak of wasp-nesting season. Wasp larvae must be candy to a coon, which will go to great lengths to extract the little ones from nests made in plastic tubes I use to protect my young trees. Seeing saplings broken in half, as happens often when a fat coon bends a tube to the ground, is maddening. Patience is a virtue, though. Broken trees often develop new leaders that grow stronger than the original. … Word out of Wyoming is the Drivers and Motor Vehicles facility will not reopen. No shock, as that was the least-used facility in the state. Even so, it was a joy to walk into a DMV office with short lines. As some have surmised, I favor less government, but that’s not true at any cost. DMVs and other government offices that can serve customers quickly are good. Too many layers of bureaucrats slowing things down is not.
Contact Jeff Lampe at (309) 231-6040 or jeff@wklypost.com
