Of a true SOS, kingfishers & sleeping bees

Rambling through central Illinois, thankful to live in the heart of sweet-corn country.


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Not that this is news, but we had it good with Jesse White in office – and not just because of his fun-to-watch tumblers. New Illinois Secretary of State Alexi Giannoulias has decided that requiring people to have appointments will make things run smoother at driver services facilities. “This is sort of the first major step in implementing the rest of our modernization goals,” Giannoulias said. Appointments can be made by visiting the secretary of state’s website at ilsos.gov or by calling (844) 817-4649. It’s fitting Alexi’s office abbreviates to SOS, because that’s what people will be sending out after Sept. 1 when they show up to get their license renewed and learn about this the hard way. The good news is, drivers services offices in Canton, Wyoming and Kewanee will still take walk-in appointments. Mark down one more reason not to go to Peoria.

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Among my favorite birds is the belted kingfisher, but not because of its beauty or majesty. No, I like them because they are feisty little know-it-alls. We’ve got several who frequent our stretch of French Creek and they love to fly from tree to tree and scold any person or critter who does anything they don’t like. I mention this because University of Illinois trustees recently met with a group of students who want the state university to adopt the kingfisher as a mascot. The effort has been going on for three years and appears to be gaining momentum. Sigh. The first time I witnessed The Chief perform at halftime of an Illini basketball game back in 1989 made my hair stand up. Really cool, I thought. Thought the same thing every time The Chief danced. As is so often the case these days, I was wrong. Smarter people have decided The Chief was bad, though it seems to me he got undeservedly lumped in with a lot of truly objectionable mascots. Whatever. Go ahead U of I and make your mascot the kingfisher. Having watched the pretty little birds scold everything in range for years, that seems very, very fitting. … Speaking of the U of I, in 2022, a reported 23 percent of undergrads at the schools came to the school from abroad. That makes our state university second in the nation for international student enrollment. Is that a point of pride?


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Well, it turns out having a bug with a very painful bite that can make your skin slough off isn’t particularly wise. In case you missed last week’s installment, Mary Case brought us a wheel bug, which research revealed is one of the meanest insects in the family of assassin bugs. Every time I opened the jar to toss in a potential meal for little Ayahuasca, I worried he would escape and slough off a needed part of my body. So after he turned up his proboscis at various bugs and would not eat, we opted to set him free. Next time somebody brings a pet to the office, make it a female black Lab, preferably housebroken and force fetched. … Better yet, skip the pets and just keep bringing rhubarb pie, sweet corn or a big tomato. … Hey, where are you tomato growers? Remember, we have $50 for the reader with the biggest tomato. And so far, we have no entries. To spice things up, we’re offering $25 to this year’s first entrant with a ’mater over a pound. … Need to smile? Google up The Chairmen of the Board’s 1970 hit “Give Me Just a Little More Time” and enjoy the unique, gravely phrasing of singer General Johnson, whose moniker was not a stage name.


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As you may know, Facebook is a curse. Sometimes, even a savvy person gets sucked into the black hole created by that little Harvard nerd. Makes me mad every time, but occasionally there are side benefits. For instance, next time you mind meld with Facebook, check out the cool cabins now offered near Dahinda at a place called Dragonfly Lakes. I’ve been searching for a design idea for a small cabin and, based on pictures, Dragonfly Lakes has a workable floorplan and truly impressive fireplaces. All that’s needed now is another job to pay for all those rocks! … After traveling west, my wife decided we should relive episodes of The “Brady Bunch” where the family went to the Grand Canyon. Not sure if you recall those shows, but here’s betting that every kid who camped for a decade after they aired filled a flashlight with beans, just in case they got lost like Bobby, Cindy and the little “Indian boy” – their words, not mine. … Parting shot: Recently got clued into the fact that bees sleep 5-8 hours per day. As with many things, once you discover something new, evidence appears all over. So it was in our prairie, where you can frequently find bees slumbering away atop coneflowers. So much for the phrase, “Busy as a bee.” May we suggest instead, “Sleepy as a bee?”
Contact Jeff Lampe at (309) 231-6040 or jeff@wklypost.com