Of early blooms, pole vaults & floor mops

Rambling through central Illinois, pondering how Usher sold 75 million records. 

• • •


Recent warm weather sure has been nice after that frigid snap, but it’s also cause for concern. My indicator plant for early flowering is a big star magnolia bush on the west side of our house. Gauging by the magnolia’s slightly opened buds, there will be some flower damage, but it doesn’t look too bad, yet. If we get many more 60-degree days followed by the inevitable frosts to come, there could be real impact on early spring bloomers. … Many parents dream of children someday earning Division I scholarships for sports. In all but a very few cases, those are pipe dreams. Brimfield pole vaulter Mya Strahm is one of those rare elite athletes – a junior who has already earned an Illinois state title and runner-up medal and has committed to attend the University of Tennessee to compete in track and field. What’s it take to go D-1? A few months ago during an indoor practice, Strahm cleared 13 feet, 7 inches – a state record for Illinois girls prep track.


• • •


As another basketball season nears an end, I’m left with one unanswered question: What happened to mopping the court during breaks in the game? Do players no longer sweat? Did COVID eliminate the need for floor-cleaning? Is there a new magic floor wax that dissolves dust and hair, two of the many slip-inducing substances found on the hardwood? Seriously, when is the last time you saw somebody mop a floor at a prep game, even after blood, sweat or tears dripped onto the surface? … Don’t get me wrong about the Super Bowl halftime show. Usher is a skilled roller skater and dancer. And maybe it was just the sound quality that was poor. But Usher is no Prince.


• • •


If you live in Elmwood, be warned there is a new three-way stop at Ash and Jarman streets. Apparently few people are heeding the signs. Tickets may soon ensue. … Given that Super Bowls have been more painful than enjoyable tof late, I’ve sought other ways to pass Super Sunday. That’s how Acorn Sunday was born. Actually, the timing is right to take acorns out of the refrigerator, place them in a south-facing window and get a jumpstart on spring. So last Sunday was spent filling 90 pots with peat moss and perlite to accomodate a much-reduced crop (when not cursing the Chiefs). The acorn cutback is due to a carryover of 90 trees from last year. When bringing acorns out of the fridge, you never know what you’ll encounter. But with 29 of 31 chestnuts showing roots and plenty of oak acorns ready to hatch, I was pleased … right until overtime ended.


• • •


Read somewhere that about 1 in 10 fathers experience depression after their baby’s birth. Well, speaking from experience, I can tell you that number soars to 10 in 10 before the child is full grown. … Things I’d like to see: a beer-drinking contest in heaven between Andre the Giant and Bill Rucks, the first 7-footer in University of Illinois basketball history. Those bug men drank beer out of pitchers, not glasses. And don’t quote me a German song about no beer in heaven. No way God would allow that. … Parting shot: Remind me to share the story of a Chicago-based associate who catches monster rats with a fishing rod, treble hook and peanut-butter-filled doughballs.

Contact Jeff Lampe at (309) 231-6040 or jeff@wklypost.com