Of COVID-19 and ink-stained derrieres

By Jeff Lampe

Rambling through central Illinois, battling a general malaise of COVID-19 inspired doom.
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In tragic times, context sometimes helps me stay sane, even when that
context is grim and sanity proves fleeting. Consider that from 1939-1945 during World War II, a conservative average is that 27,000 people around the world died per day.

As of Tuesday afternoon, COVID-19 had claimed 7,200 lives worldwide. So
before we launch into too much “end of the world” talk, consider that mankind survived WW II, and many others. Also, consider that most days, about 7,452 people die in the U.S. and 150,000 perish worldwide (about 100,000 age-related).

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Perhaps, as Jim Valla pointed out last week, our newfound concern with deaths and statistical curves should instigate an aggressive campaign against distracted driving.

Nearly 3,287 people around the world die daily in road crashes according to the Association for Safe International Road Travel. Another 20-50 million are injured or disabled annually. How many of those accidents are due to people staring at their cell phone? Most have done it. All of us have passed someone ogling their phone … and shuddered. Is coronavirus a bigger threat?

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One of my fears about COVID-19 is that the “social distancing” being encouraged plays into what is already a trend in our society. This is not to say we should ignore the directives, because in times of contagion, they make some sense. But people were practicing social distancing before the advent of a new flu. I fear this virus will serve as “inescapable proof” for some of a lasting need to avoid social interaction. … That’s just one reason the long-term ramifications are as scary as the virus. Why do anything face-to-face when you can do it online?

And every time the government infringes on our civil liberties, it becomes
easier for them to do that again. … If I was a college administrator, shifting classes to online only would make me very nervous. College enrollments are already down. If students can gain instruction via computers only, what’s the need for parents to spend money on pricey dorms and food plans?

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As a service to readers, we considered printing an extra section of blank pages to help combat silly toilet paper hoarders. But we’re not sure about the flushability of newsprint, so attorneys advised us against encouraging that alternative use of The Weekly Post. Even so, I can think of several readers who would love to smear my face with the residue (residoo?) from a toilet visit. Well, if you don’t mind ink stains on your derriere, that might be an option if TP hoarding continues.

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The most basic tenet of life is that it ends in death. Not if. When. Almost everything we do increases the odds of death. Every venture outside into the real world involves built-in risk. We all manage that risk differently.

Some sky-dive. Some scream at the idea. There’s a lot of us in between those two reactions. Taken to the extreme, the safest way to live is probably inside a hyperbolic chamber wrapped in bubble wrap. At that point, though, is life worth living?

… Parting shot: All that said, if Tom Hanks dies from COVID-19, this really is a pandemic. Has that dude ever made a bad movie?

Contact Jeff Lampe at (309) 231-6040 or jeff@wklypost.com